I Am The Mess You Chose
by AngelOfContemplation
Summary: Open mic night at Hogwarts. An apology ah la song. Weirdo plot bunnies had a hand in this song fic so beware.     lol.


**A/N:** Here's another ficlet for Sev and Har. Hope it's not as odd as my little one am in the morning shoulder demon says it is. Enjoy it ya'll! ^_^

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Harry Potter, his universe, or any characters residing in it. I also do not own the song, Everything Changes. StainD does. All I own is the fingers that went crazy after listening to the song for the tenth time today. That song loosely inspired this fic, so the fiction will probably do no justice to the song whatsoever.

**Warnings:** Mild cussing... the word is damn guys, so yes, that's mild and it's used two or three times in the whole fic I think. Slash, one-sided crush, poor Dray, and Karaoke Dumbledore style? I unno about that last one, but dive right in, and catch ya on the flip side! ^.^

_**/and we're on in three...! two...! One...! and ACTION!/**_

Draco Malfoy couldn't believe what the twinkly-eyed headmaster had decided to push over on them now. Why would the old bag of bones think that any of the pure-blooded magical children residing in Hogwarts would wish to have a muggle themed dance on Valentine's Day? Especially something called an 'open mic night' where their eardrums were tortured by the untrained voices of their peers? Silver eyes widen at a sight he'd never thought he'd see; the attention hating boy wonder lightly walking up the steps of the stage the professors had set up for the night, making his way to the mic stand with a guitar strapped over his shoulder casually, and settling himself on a randomly conjured stool.

It wasn't that he couldn't imagine Potter singing, the truth was that he'd heard that wonderful voice of his before when Harry'd been doing a bang up job of screwing up a song he'd been working on writing at the time. The music had been lovely, and the voice was amazing, but the song itself had sucked royally. Draco could honestly say that he was worried for his crush of three years and whatever it was the now seventeen year old Lord Potter wished to sing.

_**/Life seems to be, at times, the entry level to hell with teasers about what heaven must be like.../**_

Harry knew no nerves this night. He'd made the mistake of actually throwing things back in his lover's face that they'd both been doing their best to work through and forget. It wasn't even that he'd done it, it had all been about how he'd said the words that terrible night and how he'd made his love slam shut like a clam when the prickly male had been opening up to him. He'd remained shut out every time he'd done his best to apologize. Nothing he said seemed to make a difference so it was time he used his last resort, the slightly morbid serenade.

Knowing his lover as he did, Harry knew he'd be at the far edges of the crowd that had suddenly moved closer to the stage the moment he'd walked up the short flight of steps. He knew too that most of the students wondered whether or not he could actually carry a tune; while others just wanted to know something more about the mysteriously private life of their frickin savior. Sometimes he honestly wished someone else had had the balls to off Voldemort before Harry'd been forced to give actual proof to that bloody lunatic's prophecy. Maybe it was better, he thought, that he couldn't see his lover's dark eyes as he settled in and began to play his guitar expertly and readying his nerves to begin singing.

_**/in the darkness you will find a tiny little ray of light; make it grow or fade it out, it's all in your hands now.../**_

Severus Snape stood in the midst of the crowd now gathered at the stage. He hadn't heard Harry sing a note in three long weeks. He'd ignored Harry's attempts to talk to him lately, mainly because he blamed himself for the things the teen had accused him of an he refused to hurt the little brat again. All he could do now was watch the beautiful young man upon the stage, and soak up the words of whatever song he'd chosen to sing.

Hearing the chords of a familiar song, Severus tries his best to remember more than the fact that it's a muggle song from an album Harry'd adored to destruction. He'd quite literally worn the disc out and had insisted on a burial for it. More honor to the passage of a good friend that had gotten him through hard times, he'd stated. Had Severus been able to ignore the puppy pout of doom, he'd have never have spoken words over the 'grave' of the 'deceased'.

_**/I am the mess you chose, the closet you cannot close, the devil in you, I suppose, cause the wounds never heal.../**_

Students and teachers alike, watched the young man on stage and marvel at the silky smooth husked voice that escapes his lips as words full of emotions that only one of them can accurately define the whole of spill out. The words perfectly match the almost haunting melody his nimble fingers strum steadily, the flow of words and music nearly hypnotic to all truly listening.

"If you just walked away, What could I really say? Would it matter anyway?

Would it change how you feel?"

Somehow emerald eyes find and lock with onyx in a way that makes it seem as if the singer is simply looking out beyond the crowd. Harry could, after all, misdirect with the best of Slytherin house just to hide something no one outside of a select few knew. Unless the other man reacted publicly to the song, they'd continue stumbling along, ignorant of his true feelings for his beloved antagonist.

"I am the mess you chose, The closet you can not close, The devil in you, I suppose; 'Cause the wounds never heal... But everything changes if I could, Turn back the years if you could, Learn to forgive me, Then I could learn to feel..."

It spoke volume to Draco that someone in this crowd of bodies tonight had enough of the boy wonder that they could make it so that he'd become unfeeling if he were to lose them. As he thought about it, Darco realized that Harry had been a blank slate for the past two weeks at the least where his emotions were concerned. The teen was normally an open book who wore his heart on his sleeve, so it pointed towards a deep hurt that he'd be so unresponsive that he wouldn't even crack a smile at a random joke anymore.

It made the blonde more jealous than he'd have ever thought he could be to think that Harry was in love with somebody so deeply that they could break him in a way none before that person has ever been able to. In his mind, they'd best step up and prove that they deserve the selfishly noble Gryffindor with the Slytherin instincts. He might hex the person when he found them otherwise. He notices a change in tone as a deep sadness seems to ring in harry's voice, a musical apology was what this was, wasn't it? The bloke who'd captured Harry's heart had better deserve all of this rubbish.

"Sometimes the things I say, In moments of disarray, Succumbing to the games we play, To make sure that it's real... But everything changes if I could, Turn back the years if you could, Learn to forgive me, Then I could learn to feel." A small smile curves lush lips and Harry's voice seems a bit amused, but in a wise sort of way that's hard to understand unless you've heard it. "When it's just me and you Who knows what we could do? If we can just make it through... The toughest part of the day..."

Severus could do nothing but stare at his love as he felt the emotions, and eard Harry's apology and hidden desperation that Severus understand and reconsider ignoring everything they'd shared together throughout their oddly fulfilling relationship. Fun, laughter, playful banter, and love most of all. It was a plea that Severus understood and wanted to answer, but he would let Harry finish his song before making his final decision.

"But everything changes if I could, Turn back the years if you could, Learn to forgive me, Then I could learn how to feel, Then we could stay here together, And we could conquer the world, If we could say that forever, Is more than just a word... If you just walked away, What could I really say? And would it matter anyway? It wouldn't change how you feel..."

As the music fades and the crowd seems to shake themselves free of the weight of the emotional song, Harry graces them with a tentative grin as they clap and softly cheer his performance. Bowing graciously once he stands, he turns and makes his way off stage, only to be grabbed by what seems to be a black blur. Every eye focuses on the boy savior and they seem to realise just who it is that's kissing the young man senseless, according to the collectively shocked sounds heard as background noise fading into the distance for the lovers.

Harry throws his arms around Severus' neck and kisses the man back with all the happy passion he feels. The chaos that erupts once the crowd gets over their momentary shock is completely ignored as Harry is swept up and spirited away to the dungeons. Draco notices the twinkly-eyed Dumbledore grinning like a loon at the couple and shakes his head in an almost jealous amusement. It would seem, that Harry was damn good at apologizing in ways that no one else could understand. Well... Severus understood, but he was a weird one anyway, so he doesn't count.

_**/blah...blah blah... blah, blahahahaha? ^.^ lol/**_

Later that night, as they lay in Severus' bed curled around one another, a quiet conversation is begun by Harry. "Why did you inore me Sev? It couldn't have all been about that stupid fight. We usually make up after fights like that one within the hour."

Severus, sated and content, figures correctly that Harry waited until after they were loosened up for this for a damned good reason... Severus was far too comfy now to do anything other than actually answer whatever Harry asked of him, the brat knew it too. "I thought about the many times I've hurt you in one way or other, and I thought I was giving you a vacation from being hurt so much by staying away."

Harry nuzzles Sev's neck with affection. "Foolish thought, that, for an intelligent man like you. We've both hurt one another in the past Severus. I gave as good as I got when we were nothing more than antagonists to one another. Past hurts heal with time and patience and love. I shouldn't have gone off on you the way I did that night. We were already feeling the sting of old wounds reopened and accusing you as I did, in such a careless way wasn't the best way I could've handled my own pain. I apologise for that, my love. I didn't much like myself for hurting you the way I did."

Severus' arm tightens gently about Harry's waist. "It's alright now precious. I am simply thankful that you sang tonight. It made me remember that we are always stronger together than apart, and that we've been through far too much to just toss it away over a silly fight we've let roll off our backs before."

The kiss they share is sweet, and tender, and when they part; they sing, their voices blending together beautifully. "I am the mess you chose, the closet you cannot close, the devil in you, I suppose, cause the wounds never heal..."

It would always be their favorite lyrics in the song... until they'd finally worked out all the kinks in their shared issues, that is... For now, they just curl together and sleep, the knowledge that the next day would bring chaos thanks to their outed relationship all the more reason to let sleep claim them this early in the evening.

_**/I wish the snow would go away and stay away until next winter. This weather's messing me up. I hate my sinus and allergy problems sometimes./**_

**A/N:** welp... that's another plot bunny stifled and booted to the back of the line! If it sucks, blame it on the fact that this weather is messing with my allergies and sinuses really bad and I think I caught something from one of the kids I babysit. They need to keep their germs to themselves. For serious man. Anyways, still hope you guys found some enjoyment in this lil one shot song fic wannabe.


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